Christmas cracker jokes | Christmas
Yes I know Christmas is technically over but this was one of the posts that I lost now and I don't want to wait another year to post it. So for those who celebrate Christmas till the 6th of Jan, here are some more Christmas jokes as although the jokes on advent calendars and in crackers are cheesy and known by everyone, they are still well loved and needs a whole post dedicated to them.
Enjoy.
What is Santa's wife called?
Mary Christmas!
What did baby corn say to mummy corn?
Where's popcorn?!
How do monkeys make toast?
Stick some bread under the gorilla!
What has 22 legs and 2 wings but can't fly?
A football team!
What's white and goes up?
A confused snowflake!
What sort of sentence would you get if you broke the law of gravity?
A suspended one!
What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Santa Claustrophobia!
How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle!
What do you get if you cross a hen with a bedside clock?
An alarm cluck!
What do you call a polar bear wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can't hear you!
How do witches tell the time?
With a witch-watch!
What song did Cinderella sing as she waited four months for her photos to come back from the chemist?
Some day my prints will come!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsilitis!
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy!
Why did the tightrope walker visit his bank?
To check his balance!
What happens when you drop a snowball into a glass of water?
It gets wet!
Why did the golfer wear an extra pair of trousers?
In case he got a hole in one!
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a shark?
Frost bite!
What is Santa's favourite pizza?
One that's deep pan, crisp and even!
What delivers cat's Christmas presents?
Santa Paws!
What kind of paper likes music?
Rapping paper!
Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low "elf" esteem!
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!
Talk to you later x
Enjoy.
What is Santa's wife called?
Mary Christmas!
What did baby corn say to mummy corn?
Where's popcorn?!
How do monkeys make toast?
Stick some bread under the gorilla!
What has 22 legs and 2 wings but can't fly?
A football team!
What's white and goes up?
A confused snowflake!
What sort of sentence would you get if you broke the law of gravity?
A suspended one!
What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Santa Claustrophobia!
How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle!
What do you get if you cross a hen with a bedside clock?
An alarm cluck!
What do you call a polar bear wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can't hear you!
How do witches tell the time?
With a witch-watch!
What song did Cinderella sing as she waited four months for her photos to come back from the chemist?
Some day my prints will come!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsilitis!
What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Icebergers!
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy!
Why did the tightrope walker visit his bank?
To check his balance!
What happens when you drop a snowball into a glass of water?
It gets wet!
Why did the golfer wear an extra pair of trousers?
In case he got a hole in one!
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a shark?
Frost bite!
What is Santa's favourite pizza?
One that's deep pan, crisp and even!
What delivers cat's Christmas presents?
Santa Paws!
What kind of paper likes music?
Rapping paper!
Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low "elf" esteem!
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!
Talk to you later x
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